I have been fiercely trying to work out my version of this thing called “life” and never have I felt a greater need to find the mental and physical space to do so.
As much as I’ve been doing some work around this in London, it’s a pretty noisy city and it’s pretty damn difficult to keep my own head quiet for 5 seconds to get a grip on the matter.
I decided that I really needed to step this up a gear, so… yesterday morning, the pup and I packed up the car and made our merry way to Norfolk.
We’re having 3 days here doing not much at all… just trying to zen the f**k out!
I’m working on this huge acceptance that I am not the same person I used to be and it was a tough pill to swallow.
I still haven’t quite got it down but as I’m slowly releasing the belief that I have to continue doing what I’ve been doing for evermore simply because I’ve started it (and I damn well like to finish stuff I started!) life is getting a little easier and things are looking a hell of a lot brighter.
You see, the way I have been living in business and life has been like squeezing into shoes each and every day that are a size too small but which I’ve refused to take off for fear of being barefoot with unpainted toenails – I mean, what would people say?!
And no matter how pretty or sparkly these shoes are, and how many compliments I get about them, this does not make them any more comfortable and the blisters are now impossible to ignore.
I have realised that I am not failing, giving up or throwing my toys out the pram but I have simply done what all living things do, I have grown up.
I have outgrown my shoes and they no longer fit.
And that is fine because at the moment I’m enjoying wandering around barefoot, embracing my natural unpainted toenails, not minding what others think, and reconnecting with the ground I walk on.
I’ll be putting new shoes on eventually, don’t you worry about that, it’s just there are so many pairs out there to chose from. I want to make sure that I don’t just pick the sparkly uncomfortable stilettos or settle for the boring but cosy slippers. For this next chapter I am looking for a particularly special pair of shoes to encompass comfort, style and durability to not fall apart over the many miles I plan to walk in them.