Well, hello my lovelies! A huge, big squishy hug of a warm welcome to you! Now, it’s not all going to be about big, squishy hugs around here… well, it kind of is because I TOTALLY LOVE HUGS!
But this little site I’ve just placed on the internet here is 2 fold… ME having a public brain dump (and potentially some mini meltdowns along the way) and then there is YOU who might perhaps gain a little identification from this exercise.
Now, in the 30 years of my existence on this planet, I have found connecting with people and gaining a little bit of personal identification with others to be the best helper, healer and source of inspiration.
It all helps for the one plain and simple reason, it reminds us that we are not alone.
But sometimes, even when we are technically surrounded by our loving families, friends and perhaps even a great network of professionals, our “stinking thinking” can keep us in a dark place. The darkness in which our mind can keep us is the loneliest place of all – not to mention ridiculously frustrating to not only ourselves but others around us.
I think we all suffer from alone-ness at some point in our lives, some of us do so on a daily basis. Whatever the nature of your worries, however, it will always help to know that someone went through it and came out the other side and this is what this blog is all about.
I’m a firm believer that a problem shared is a problem halved. I would love nothing more than for you to pitch in by commenting or messaging me directly if you prefer.
I have a total love/hate relationship with social media.
It is an amazing way of connecting with people, particularly for business and for this I am super thankful, BUT, it also encourages one to constantly compare every aspect of their life, professional and personal, against those of others.
Unfortunately, there is no filter when it comes to viewing social media. I’m sure on a subconscious level we absorb far more than our brains can cope with as we didn’t actively seek or search for the information, it was just fed to us. It’s called a “News Feed” for a reason!
I believe our mindset plays an important part in how we view and absorb information. If we’re not in the right frame of mind when information and images are fed to us via social media (and in life in general) then on a subconscious level it can actually have serious implications on our entire outlook, and with this happening again and again over time we get stuck in a rut.
On a “strong day” I relish in everyone’s posts, I comment and like statuses and flit like a butterfly from one to the other in a happy daze. I feel emotion in what I would consider the right response to each.
On these days, I love giving the “thumbs up”, clicking that “love button” and overusing the laughing face emoji (that’s gotta be everyone’s favourite emoji right?!)
I will smile, laugh out loud, feel tears prickling at the happy or sad news and generally feel confident in my position to pass emotion at other’s posts.
But there are other days when I’m not feeling as confident in myself. And I can tell you that these days are far more frequent.
I’ll still scroll along but with a negative mindset. Those happy posts of others I still feel happy for but it’s so muted and that’s because I have an overwhelming sense of underachievement on nearly every image or post I see.
My thought processes on these days will generally go a little something like this…
“such a beautiful baby, I’m so happy for them – I’ll never have that, my dating record is a total disaster!”
“Wow, they are looking SMOKIN!!! Why don’t I have that discipline to stop eating and drinking shit and get toned and look like that??”
or one of my particular favourites would be someone who may have posted about a work achievement and I think to myself “Well maybe I don’t love my business enough to be getting the same results and I should just jack it all in!”
These are just a few examples of the MANY negative thought processes I have each and every day.
Yes, my mind is my worst enemy, I’m sure yours is too. And a negative mindset will soon wear the fuck out of you!
Once you board the shitty mindset wagon, it’s very hard to get off and as social media feeds are with us all day long, in our hands, pockets, handbags or on the bedside table – a depression fix is just one tap away!
So I guess it boils down to this new word that is being thrown about a lot these days – Mindfulness.
And it’s no wonder everyone is having to practice it on a daily basis – to shut out all the ‘noise’ and to think straight and remain conscious and aware to actively protect ourselves from everything we are exposed to on a daily basis.
There is SO MUCH information bombarding us every day that we really need to keep ourselves in a strong position to be able to sort the wheat from the chaff.
Nowadays, we all live our lives at 90 miles an hour, flying and tearing about, sending Whatsapp voice notes as we don’t even have time for an actual conversation anymore.
But are we really getting any more done than we were before?
Are we making any more money than when we had time to sit and have a proper telephone call with someone?
Is this really effective time management?
Or are we just confused as to how we should be living our lives and keeping busy means we don’t have to think about it?
Sometimes we need to make a reset. I wish there was a simple reset button I could press but like many things in life, it’s not that simple so when it comes to feeling overwhelmed it’s about sitting down (WITHOUT a glass of wine – Something I’m currently teaching myself to do!) and taking inventory to work out a solution.
We need to break attachment to things that no longer serve us – let things go or in some cases start something new.
We are all unique, with amazingly unique qualities which is our “you-ness” so it’s time to stop being a comparison Alison. Focus on what makes us truly us and nurture the crap out of it!
Because no one else will ever be able to do you better than you and let’s face it, it’s bloody exhausting trying to be someone else!